Friends in Single Places

While all of my coupled friends are amazingly sweet and don’t seem to mind if I “tag along” with them, I think it is important for single people to also have some single friends. 

Single friends

• can go back and forth with me on the woes of today’s dating world
• don’t have to check with their significant other’s schedule before saying “yes” to my invitations
• make great dates to weddings and other social events that I don’t want to go to alone
• are often looking for a travel buddy and so am I
• can empathise with me when my mom makes all those anxious “i want a grand-baby” hints
• are more likely to set me up on an “acceptable” blind date than my coupled friends

I am so thankful for all the similarly single people in my life.  They are an invaluable support system and a fabulous source of fun!

Break-Up: A Podcast

This week’s episode of This American Life is titled “Break-Up.”  You can listen to the podcast here.  It is a four-part episode featuring individuals with various perspectives on…you guessed it…breaking up.

The Go-To Friend

I have a number of single friends, but have found particular comfort in my relationship with one person.  We’ll call her Ann.

Ann and I have many differences.  She is a workaholic and takes her job very seriously, while I view my employment simply as a means to paying my bills and paying for vacations.  She is quite conservative, while I tend toward the left.  She rarely goes on a date and I seem to go on way too many.  She is go-go-go and I like my couch time.  And it goes on and on.  Our friendship seems a bit unlikely and, in fact, is not that deep.  We rarely have discussions that delve much beyond the scope of our immediate surroundings. 

So what, you may be wondering, is so great about this relationship?  Well, the great thing about Ann is that she is always up for hanging out.  She does not have to consult with a mate, to see if she is/will be free.  She doesn’t complain that she shouldn’t be spending money on this or that.  If I feel like going out for lunch, going to a movie, out for drinks, or even for a weekend trip, I can call Ann and she is always up for some fun.  Basically, we act as each other’s dates at times when it is so much easier to call up a known friend than to seek out a “real” date with a member of the opposite sex. 

Thank you Ann for being my go-to friend!

Living Single (from Single Edition)

The following is from Single Edition.  It includes some guidelines for living single and I think it is a fabulous list.  Thank you, Single Edition!

1. Don’t go to the Liquor Store for Milk: You will not get milk where it is not sold. So to avoid disappointment, don’t expect responses from people that they may not be emotionally, psychologically or mentally equipped to give you.

2. If there is Clutter, Clean it out: For a positive attitude you need to eliminate the negative habits, people and influences from your life.

3. Pretty People Can Be Lonely Too: Don’t make assumptions about who people are, what they want or how they live their lives.

4. Remember that Love does not Discriminate: So be gentle with yourself and less critical of your beauty, brains and body.

5. Love Knocks, but Not When you’re Sitting At Home: New opportunities and people cannot find you if you are tucked away indoors on your couch.

6. Handbags Do Not Just Come in Designer Labels: From backpacks to Birkins, we all carry around lots of “stuff.” Since you can never tell what’s inside each person’s tote from day-to-day, try to take things less personally.

7. If it’s too Tough, Chances are it’s not Healthy: Relationships should complete, not deplete you.

8. Taking is one of life’s greatest achievements: There is no shame in accepting help or admitting you need it.

9. Fight fears by facing them: There is something simply delicious about finding out what frightens you the most, and then conquering it on your own.

10. No may mean yes in sales but not when it comes to your love life: If it is too hard, it is not right.

11. Status is a symbol, happiness a state of being: There are plenty of miserable married people.

11. Letting go can be liberating: Always trust your gut — it will let you know if and when you are holding on to false hope.

12. It Only Takes One: A home cooked meal to nurture the soul, a new friend to change your life, a long bike ride to improve your mood…

Quote From Avenue Q

There are many, many things in the musical “Avenue Q” that resonate with my life.  I would recommend it to anyone, but most especially to those in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties.  I am confident that you will find yourself (as well as many of your friends) somewhere in the cast of characters.

And what, you may be asking yourself, does this have to do with single life?  Here are a few lines from the song “It Sucks to Be Me”

Kate Monster: I’m kind of pretty, and pretty damned smart.

Brian:You are

Kate Monster:THANKS! I like romantic things like music and art, and as you know I have a gigantic heart! So why don’t I have a boyfriend? F*#@! It sucks to be me!

 Ahhh.  Doesn’t that just say it beautifully?

That Question

I must vent about one of my mom’s most annoying wanting-me-to-be-attached habits.  I’ll call it “That Question.” 

That Question goes like this, “Were there any cute, single guys there?”  Or the more passive, “So, there weren’t any cute, single guys there?”

She asks me That Question after any and every event that I attend: my friends’ sons’ birthday party, a night out at the bar, my class reunion, an evening of sand volleyball, a vacation, a trip to the dog park, anywhere and everywhere I go. 

Aaaaaahhh!  I AM NOT LIVING MY LIFE WITH THE SOLE INTENT OF FINDING “A CUTE, SINGLE GUY.”  I am living my life with the sole intent of enjoying myself.  If I find “a cute, single guy,” great, if not, that’s okay too.  When I tell her that there weren’t any of these (seemingly abundant in her eyes) cute, single guys, she always seems so genuinely disappointed. 

I realize that she just wants me to find someone to love and someone to love me, but she seriously needs to stop asking That Question.