Here, I seek to examine what exactly happened in our conversation. Admittedly, I asked FIRST about looks, before even knowing his name, etc. That was a pretty shallow approach to the situation. On the other hand, I don’t think that her reply took me (the single chick looking for a potential romantic partner) into much consideration. Surely, there is something positive about his appearance that she could have commented on. “He has beautiful blue eyes!” or “His smile will just melt you!” Nope. All I got was, “He has a great personality.”
Mindful of my friend’s life, I should not be so surprised by her end of the conversation. She has been in a committed relationship for more than ten years. She was in high school, the last time she had to worry about any potential new boyfriend and his degree of attractiveness. She was simply being honest and, I would guess, was completely unaware of how her description of her friend would come across to me.
I don’t think that looks are the most important feature in a potential date/boyfriend, but they do play a big role. Some chemistry is necessary in a relationship and if it isn’t there to start with, I don’t expect that to change. When I have tried going on a second or third date with someone that I wasn’t attracted to (either out of a sense of obligation or in hopes that i will somehow feel differently after spending more time with them), I have ended up feeling like I was leading them on and the feelings haven’t changed on my end.
May 6, 2008 at 6:03 am
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