Suffocating

Writing yesterday’s post lead me to consider why it is that I so easily feel suffocated in a new relationship.  I came up with a few thoughts:

• I want to be in a relationship with someone that has a life outside of our relationship.  I spend a lot of time with my various groups of friends, enjoy my time at work, have a few hobbies, and am involved in various community groups.  I think that all of these things make me a better person and help me to enjoy my life.  The kind of person that I want to be with would have similar interests and committments. 
• Involvement in all of the things listed above mean that I am a busy person.  While I welcome new people and new committments into my life, I am easily annoyed by someone that I am forced to attend to multiple times a day.
• The longer I am single, the more I get set in my ways.  While this is a scary thought and not something that I am particularly proud of, it becomes hard to let someone new into my life and to have to make the necessary compromises that come along with a relationship.  It can sometimes feel like my life is being taken over by this other person.  I have (perhaps unconsciously at the time) ended dating relationships because I was afraid of the changes that that relationship would require of my lifestyle. 

The next time I start a dating relationship that seems to be going “somewhere,” I need to be proactive and let that person know about my tendency towards being overwhelmed and suffocated in a relationship.  Hopefully, that will lead to a better connection for both of us and will prevent me from ending a relationship solely based on this factor.